![]() ![]() As a result, I think less about what I will achieve, lead or create in my ministry, focusing instead on how to make myself as inoffensive as possible, so that a church might want to hire me. ![]() Much like the female-affirming churches that are not quite ready to hire a female senior pastor, there are now LGBTQ-affirming churches that are not quite ready to hire an LGBTQ pastor. I want to see a Baptist world in which queer ministers thrive, not just survive. I was struck in those moments of profound vision casting that we could easily remove the word “women” and replace it with “LGBTQ people.” We want a world in which LGBTQ people in ministry are celebrated, not just tolerated. ![]() “I want to see a Baptist world in which queer ministers thrive, not just survive.” ![]() Later at the same event, CBF’s director of ministerial transitions and abuse prevention and response advocate, Jay Kieve, commented on the same idea of thriving in ministry: “Women should not have to be more resilient and overcome more harm in order to respond to the call of God in their lives.” We want to see a Baptist world in which women in ministry thrive, not just survive.” A world in which women in ministry are celebrated, not just tolerated. How can we flourish when we are so often trying to defend our own existence?ĭuring the Baptist Women in Ministry dinner at General Assembly, BWIM Executive Director Meredith Stone cast a vision for what transforming power and authority in the church will look like: “As we push closer to transformed power, we will see a world in which women in ministry are wanted, not just permitted. But the Baptist world is not set up for queer women to thrive. I am incredibly grateful the church where I serve now is full of people who support, love and celebrate my overlapping identities and experiences. Suddenly, I’m looking in the mirror in my hotel room wondering if I’m wearing too many rainbows at once. I become defensive and nervous, focusing on proving myself to people I will never even meet. I forget to celebrate myself in other ways, because the loud and angry voices of the world are so focused on this part of me. Suddenly, I forget to focus on all the other wonderful things about myself and my work as a minister. “And now I’m throwing ‘lesbian’ into this already messy intersection of my Baptist and female identities?”Īnd now I’m throwing “lesbian” into this already messy intersection of my Baptist and female identities? Crank that internalized pressure switch up to 11. We are constantly putting up with the patronizing behavior of older male congregants who call us “sweetheart” and hug us with their hand a little too low on our backs instead of discussing the sermon we spent all week preparing. Churches that claim to be supportive of female ministers have a whole list of reasons why their congregation “just isn’t ready for a female senior pastor yet.” We answer questions from search committees that our male colleagues are never asked, such as if and when we might have children.Įach and every time we step behind a pulpit, we feel the pressure to be excellent - no, extraordinary - because we fear someone might use our less-than-excellent day as an example for why women shouldn’t be pastors. Our days at General Assembly reminded me that the CBF is still uncovering and accepting new facets of our fellowship as we learn about who God is calling us to become.įinding a ministry job as a woman in Baptist life is hard enough as it is. There are particular challenges I face as a queer woman who is called and ordained to ministry in the Baptist tradition, which straight allies to the queer community do not face. Many of the systems in this world are designed for me to be generally successful.Īs I have processed the blatant acts of patriarchy and discrimination displayed by the Southern Baptist Convention this summer, I have come face to face with the reality that I do have intersecting social identities to consider, which create compounding and intertwined experiences of discrimination and hurt. As a cisgender white woman, I move through the world with a lot of privilege. Until last month, I never had considered myself someone with intersecting social identities. I always will be uncovering and accepting new facets of myself as I grow and learn about who God is calling me to become. Coming out in my thirties has offered the relief of knowing self-discovery never will end. The next couple of years were a slow process of coming out, both to myself and others, culminating in sharing my sexual identity with my congregation on Pentecost Sunday in 2022. ![]()
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